are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
