So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
