Non-Jews are for practice
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
