I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
