She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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