We need to start having sex underwater more often.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
True college students do jello shots in the library
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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