his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
