Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
