I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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