i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
