i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
