i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
