i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
