Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
