The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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