and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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