if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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