Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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