his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
