so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
