Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
