I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
