You work out of a Hotel?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
