Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
