this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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