I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
