Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
