I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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