I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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