I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
