Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
3pm strippers are depressing
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
