we made out on top of his cat.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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