weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
