You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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