I wannas sexs uuuuu
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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