on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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