i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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