Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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