Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just had sex on a roof
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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