i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Randomize
