Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
