if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
