worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
