my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
