The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
