My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
