threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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