We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
