I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
