I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it was like eating out sand paper
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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